Down One on the Mantris
So, here's an admission. I read The Four-Man Plan* for the first time, oh, approximately a year ago. And I'd been basically operating from memory and handy glossary terms as I was re-perusing it in the midst of all this living and dating and working and whatnot. I just finished getting through the final chapters on my commute one morning last week.
I subsequently had to fire Vagabond Vance. (Well, at least put him on temporary/indefinite leave without pay… or benefits.)
See, Cindy Lu's got this whole "Chick's Chick" (ie. a Chick who respects all women's relationships) and "Dick's Chick" (erm, the opposite of that other one) thing.
Damn you, Cindy Lu, and your rules! (Just kiddin'. I need 'em... obviously.)
So, yeah. No second date for this guy until he's officially divorced. Which he said will be in a few months (something about amenable divorces having a waiting period... I dunno. I might've zoned out when the ex-factor came into play).
[Oh, as an aside, I had to tell Vagabond Vance via email that I would not be joining him on the two (!?!) dates he was planning for us and why I would not be joining him. He had never given me his damned number. Ca-razy!]
Anywho, this whole Chick's Chick thing? Kinda new territory for me. But, what can I say? I suck at love...
Vagabond Vance accepted my decision to hold off on dating until those loose ends have been secured. He even thanked me (!?!) for my frankness and expressed his respect for my Chick’s Chick-ness. (Yah! Methinks Lu is definitely on to something here…)
He did request that I remain open to the possibility of hanging out as friends. I said I would consider it, but I shall proceed with caution.
* It's a fun read, by the way. Lu isn't gushy or preachy, but straight up and foul mouthed... my kind of lady.
2 comments:
I thought I was ready to date right after separating from my now ex-wife. I reasoned that the relationship had ended so long before we actually had the conversation to dissolve it. I further reasoned that it lacked the things that I enjoy about a relationship for so long that I was entitled to be happy in the company of a woman. Several years later I am still unclear if I was justifying behavior, or accurately assessing my emotional state.
Let's suppose for the sake of argument that a man is going through a particularly contentious divorce that is dragging along for an extended period. Further suppose that the relationship is completely over except for the paperwork. Should that man stay on the shelf for the entirety of that period?
I don't disagree with the rule, per se, I just think that the best rules and practitioners of them allow for reasonable exceptions.
(T)he best rules and practitioners of them allow for reasonable exceptions.
I'd tend to agree.
However, the details from Vagabond Vance regarding his divorce were as follows:
- They'd been together for 10++ years (married, I'm not sure how long).
- She, out of the blue, decided to leave him (and the state) approximately 3 months ago.
- He's "fine with" this, and "it's completely over."
- In addition to the mandatory waiting period he mentioned for amicable divorces, she seems to be dragging her feet with her end of the deal.
I'm sure it will all work out for him, but I haven't any great desire to get into the midst of this one...
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