The Case of the Disappearing Nerves
Of the dates I've been on recently, I haven't been nervous once. Not even a little. And that is so very unlike me.
I have to say, I'm thoroughly enjoying my newfound confidence and ease in dating. (Knock on wood, etc., and whatnot.)
Here are some things I'm throwing around as possible factors in The Case of the Disappearing Nerves:
- Since I'm not investing mass amounts of time and energy into getting to know these guys beforehand and I'm not considering them "real" until I lay eyes on them, I have no expectations either way about how the dates will go. No expectations, no pressure... no reason for nerves.
- Unbeknownst to me, during my last medical procedure, my much-loathed GP conducted a highly dangerous, completely experimental procedure to remove my romantically-induced nervousness. (Which could explain the twitching and stuttering that recently cropped up...)
- Since I have several dates lined up already and the potential for more in the works, I'm not stressing about having a bad date. What's one bad date among many potential good dates? (And, yanno, bad dates = better blogging material, so I kinda welcome those, too... as long as they aren't of the chop-Belle-into-pieces-and-
store-her-in-mom's-basement variety.) - All that therapy is working.
- I'm not trying to impress these guys with anything other than genuinely being myself. (If they don't find my genuine self impressive... Next!) Not giving a flying fuck works wonders, really!
- Oh, yeah, duh... (to sound completely vain) I'm a much hotter me than I was the last time I was actively dating. So, um, yeah, that probably boosts the confidence factor a teensy bit.
- Lu's 4MP has my focus divided between several guys, so I'm not putting all my proverbial eggs in one proverbial basket.
- No matter what I may have told myself in the past, I'm really just trying to date for the first time in my life. I have no hidden relationship-seeking agenda or anything.
8 comments:
Confidence always comes with, well, not really caring about any one thing because you've got options. You've got lots going on. That's awesome!
I'm confused about the last line though. No hidden relationship-seeking agenda? Really? Then what exactly is your purpose in dating, if not the potential for a relationship? The other alternatives would seem to be friendship or sex. I can't believe you'd be using an online dating service, and putting in all this time and energy, for either one of those. Isn't dating the process of shopping for someone with whom you will might want a relationship? If you have enough friends, and you don't want a relationship, why not go bowling with your buds instead?
Maybe I got it all wrong, and actually you're just in it for the free meals and blogging material! Err...
Sounds like you’re getting comfortable being you. It’s a good feeling isn’t it?
There are free meals?!?!?!
Where? When?
No one told me!
You're dating the wrong guys!!
Story of my life!
But, honestly, firm believer in this. And, lately, no resistance on their part's been requiring follow through on mine...
The slow reach is certainly a nice touch, and like you said, makes one feel appreciated rather than obligated. But are so few men really willing to step off the cheap bus? It's like holding the door, it's just being a gentleman.
I've always figured if I am the one that did the asking out, and especially if I choose the location, I'm damned well going to pay for it. I dunno, maybe I'm old fashioned. But I've yet to go out with someone who didn't accept graciously or was offended in any way.
LOL! I totally agree with you that bad dates make for the best blog fodder. I was just telling my sister that last night...
Ha, I'm a "slow reacher" myself! I always offer to at least pick up my half of the check. Generally, a man who was NOT raised by wolves will politely insist on paying. In that case, I say "Thank you," and move on.
I absolutely insist on paying if the guy is a total tool or is being extremely forward with me. In that case I don't want to feel "obligated" to him in any way.
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