That One Hair
You know what I hate most about shaving?
It's not that decent razors cost an arm and a leg. It's not the sometimes tedious task of lathering my legs - effectively half of my body - with slimy goop that junks up the tub, making me have to haul out the Comet and get on my knees much more frequently than would otherwise be necessary. It's not raking a sharp blade across my sensitive skin. It's not the occasional knick. It's not the razor burn (but, oh, do I loathe thee, Razor Burn).
It's that one hair. That one fucking hair. No matter what I crazy angles I contort myself into, no matter how many directions I run the razor through the tricky angles around my ankles, no matter how thorough I believe my post-foamy gook inspection is; that one fucking hair always seems to remain.
And what is perhaps even more annoying about the situation? The fact that I never notice that one fucking hair until I'm out somewhere in a new summer dress with cute new sandals and a fresh pedicure. I'm out, enjoying my day, and I cross my legs and glance down, and there it is. That one. fucking. hair.
Taunting me.
When I notice it, it's always much longer than it would be if I'd missed it in just one shave. Oh yes. That one fucking hair makes it painfully apparent that it's been hanging around like that for at least a week, effectively evading all swipes from my stupidly expensive razor blade. Mocking me and my inability to achieve that perfect shave.
I despise that one fucking hair.
What annoys you?
8 comments:
People that scare me with large ghost statues that resemble Mr. Tastee Freeze bother me (especially when they drag me into the fun)....
Lots of things scare me. I'm just glad I'm not the only one with the rebellious follicles. I have never understood how this happens. But it does. Oh, it does.
That hair is annoying. It pops up on my head/face all the time. I swear it just grows to some insane length in a few minutes... because I know I just looked there.
Stupid hair.
i've been digging at my shoulder for a few days b/c of that one hair, which i forget about whenever i'm near a pair of tweezers.
try plucking that bitch out and it will take longer to come back..... but i am sure it will, always does.
do you ever get that one long blond hair on your cheek/jaw/where a beard would be? i hate that fucker the most...... and it stands straight out too!!!
try plucking that bitch out and it will take longer to come back..... but i am sure it will, always does.
do you ever get that one long blond hair on your cheek/jaw/where a beard would be? i hate that fucker the most...... and it stands straight out too!!!
My current annoyance is that stupid taco bell commercial about "fourth meal." Really? Staying up late for the sole purpose of eating fast food is the last thing this country needs. We are fat fat slobs.
oh i totally agree! that one f'ing hair. luckily mine is blond so practically invisible to others. BUT I SEE IT. i know its there. argggh. also it annoys me that, without fail, everytime i shave i cut my knee. EVERY f'ing time. no matter what i do. *sigh*
Post a Comment