Starter Relationship? Check
Yeah, so... I'm getting flack from my real life friends for dating Boy Blue for almost 7 months and then being all casual like, 'by the way, we broke up.'
And I didn't even neglect the real life peeps like I did my Interwebz reading audience. So I suppose some of you who are still out there might be going What the Fuck? Give me the dirt!
After the whole business started (details of which are conveniently archived for your reading pleasure), Boy Blue and I enoyed several months of the honeymoon variety, exchanged the L-word (BIG step for Belle. Like, HUGE.), did lotsa fun stuff, met each other's families, etc. and whatnot.
And then, as I'm wont to do after the newness of knowing someone wears off, I started getting annoyed by things. Small stuff at first, and then progressively bigger things.
Being that honesty and communication were such big deals at the forefront of everything, I went forward with my bitchin' and moanin' and laid down my complaints before the court.
In Boy Blue, I found an attentive listener, a man who was there to wipe away my tears and provide a shoulder to lean on, someone who never lodged his own complaints against me. What I did not find was someone who would engage when I was having these open and honest communications. Or someone who was willing to change or even compromise to address the issues I presented. (All of which I knew going in, to be perfectly honest.)
So... I talked. He listened. And Nothing Happened.
I really have little bad to say about Boy Blue. I enjoyed the majority of our time together. Dating him helped me realize that there are honest and trustworthy guys out there, after all. I learned some things about relationships, developed a greater faith in my very own gut (as in, 'go with your gut, Belle'), and ascertained a few more criteria for someone I'm dating.
No matter how emotionally void this might make me sound, I'm also glad for the actual experience of having had a relationship. Now I can honestly answer some of those getting-to-know you questions without feeling like a 27-year-old freak who has never been able to find a boyfriend.
For some reason, I still don't feel right about revealing the nitty gritty details of our relationship in this forum. I also don't feel like I have any real reason to badmouth Boy Blue, even for the entertainment of the general public.
3 comments:
I think it's wise not to badmouth Boy Blue, or, really, anyone on your blog. I had somebody I was dating slam me, and seeing it all in print was really painful.
That said, it isn't a failed relationship if you learned something, and it seems like you learned a lot.
Does this mean you'll be posting more?
I wondered what happened, but I figured if you wanted to talk about it, we would.
I'm really excited that you were able to get to know Boy Blue. I wouldn't call him a starter relationship. He seemed like a very nice guy. I'm glad I got to meet him.
Well, I know I don't know all the history but seems like you may not have been totally in love - which is a good thing. Putting your foot in the pool without jumping in is a much better way to go. Yes, you may have loved him, but "in love" is something a little different. I'm glad you escaped unscathed and wiser for your next relationship.
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