Clearly, I don't get it.
After years of smoking, I gave up my cigs cold turkey and haven't looked back. I know that even one little puff of that carcinogen-laced nicotine can re-open the door for all kinds of terrible things to be revisited, by me and upon me.
But these guys who come and are gone within a few months' time? For some reason, I seem to think it would be too hard to quit them cold turkey. No, I thinks in the recesses of my feeble mind. I need to torture myself every once in a while with a little drag from the cancerous ex-boyfriend stick. And they need a little torturous drag every once in a while, too. It'll be okay. Just a little every now and then never hurt anyone.
And so I don't cut off communication. I end things, and I'm all like, Why don't we stay "friends"? And they're all like, Yeah. We should stay "friends."
But the reality is that we're not friends. We never were friends. We met, we dated, we broke up, and then we agreed to maintain awkward, stilted, sporradic contact for the purpose of... what, exactly?
To come along and rip the scab off each other's nearly-healed wounds every so often?
Jebus. I'm one sadomasochistic bitch.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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3 comments:
First, if you don't like the person you're dating well enough to be friends, that's a problem (I've done it--no finger pointing).
Next, even if you do like the person well enough to be friends, the dating turned the friendship into something more/different. I find it necessary to spend some completely separate time away from an ex before friendship is even a possibility. But...don't ask me how many exes I'm still friends with because that number approaches zero. (It's not zero if you're flexible in your definitions.)
sometimes whatever attracted you to these guys in the first place is a good enough reason to keep them in your life. and if you'd never hooked up, you'd always wonder, and that would always be in the way.
sometimes there's a reason you keep someone around. sometimes. not always.
~b
I'm friends with most of my exes... I think it just makes us feel better, like that time wasn't COMPLETELY wasted, yanno?
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