No-Drama Boy: Look, kiddies! Belle’s a bitch!

I met No-Drama Boy at Brickskeller one Sunday evening. He was tall (yay!), decent looking, soft spoken and had a sarcastic wit. All plusses in my book. We had a couple drinks and did the typical first meeting/date talking. At one point, I asked him to tell me about his worst date. He said he hadn’t had any terrible ones, but one girl he went out with was really put out by him not wanting to answer one of her questions. Of course, I had to know what the question was. He didn’t want to tell me, but I assured him I wouldn’t make him answer it and convinced him to tell me. He said the question she’d asked was his last name. Okay, I don’t want to give my full name to the people I meet online until I’m comfortable doing so. Not everyone gets to that point, so I could kind of see his point. Girls can turn out to be psycho stalkers, too.

A bit later we headed down to Dupont Circle to do a bit of people watching. We sat in the Circle, talking and snuggling close on the bench. He was pretty touchy-feely, and all my anti-PDA mentality went right out the window. After several rounds of random questions, we started walking back toward his car. I even let him hold my hand.

He kissed me goodnight and held me for a while before leaving. It felt nice to be in his arms, even if we were right out on P Street in plain view of any random passersby. We’d made tentative plans to go out that Tuesday after work. I told him to shoot me an e-mail the next day telling me where we’d go, but he said he’d just pick me up at my office, that I should e-mail him directions. Sure, I’d made out with the guy, but I wasn’t quite comfortable enough with this (last-nameless) relative stranger to agree to get into his car and go to an undetermined destination with him. I insisted that he send me some kind of a plan on Monday (a day in advance) so I could meet him wherever we were going (I always make sure to tell a friend or two where I’m going and with whom, etc.). We parted ways, I and I went back to my apartment giddy and giggling.

The next night, he called me. He was very sweet. “Just calling to see if you’re having a good day and to say I had a nice time last night.” I was just arriving at the Mall for Screen on the Green, and I’d been rushing around all afternoon getting things ready. I’d gotten about 10 friends in on it, and I was in the middle of lugging a huge cooler and picnic goods out there, trying to find a good spot, and trying to coordinate 9 other people meeting up in the dark. I was flustered and rushed. When he asked me again for my work address, the ensuing dialogue went something like this:

Belle: I told you to pick a place and let me know where so I could meet you there.

NDB: Well, I don’t know where we’re going, and I don’t care. I just want to see you again. We’ll figure it out when I pick you up from work.

Belle: (in the bitchiest tone imaginable) I find that unacceptable. Get back to me when you decide on something.

The friends who were with me only heard my end of the conversation, of course, but even they raised their eyebrows. As soon as we settled down on the grass, one of them asked who I had been talking to. I told them and relayed the conversation. They immediately said I was harsh, rude, and a slew of other undesirable things (when the other friends arrived, they were also horrified by my behavior). Of course, the truth is, it was a horribly bitchy thing to do. He’d really been nothing but nice and sweet. If I’d suggested a specific place and said I’d meet him there, he probably would’ve agreed.

I eventually got to feeling bad about it, and I tried to call NDB back about halfway through the film. Not surprisingly, he didn’t answer. I left him a message apologizing for my actions and telling him I didn’t blame him for not answering. Not surprisingly, I heard nothing back from him. The next day, I sent him the following message:

Hey NDB,

I'm still feeling like a bitch here, so I thought I'd drop you a note and explain myself. First, I'll say I shouldn't have hung up on you. That was rude on my part, and there's no excuse for it. But I have to say when I asked you to tell me where you wanted to go by yesterday, I did so for several reasons. And when you said you didn't know or care where we were going... that we would just figure it out when you got here, it sounded a bit as if you're of the "whatever I, NDB, say goes" mindset. Personally, I'm not of that mindset; I don't take orders well. I also think it's much too soon to assume I'm willing to go to some unknown destination in your car with you.

So, again, I'm sorry for hanging up on you. But I was serious about having a day's notice of arrangements before I would go out again.

- Belle

NDB’s response:

When I said that, I meant "WE can decide when we meet up" as in we'll make that decision together. Just like you not taking orders well, I also don't. So "Get back to me when you decide on something" just isn't going to work, sorry. Remember we were talking about drama in life, and I'm definately willing to sacrifice happiness to not have drama in life? Well, this is one of the cases.

I wish you the best with everything.

--NDB

Belle’s response:

Cool. Best to you, too.

- Belle

So, in a nutshell, the first good date I had, I blew it. Not surprising, considering my track record.