New Rule: One Strike
In a somewhat noteworthy turn of events this weekend, I was approached (separately) by two (seemingly available) guys.
Each sent me a drink from his bartender friend and came over to chat a bit later. Both received my number before we parted ways.
I met G1 Thursday. (G1 = Fun and easy to talk to, somewhat older, somewhat full of himself, and almost certainly a pathological liar.*) He said he'd call Sunday.
I met G2 Saturday. (G2 = Lacking stellar conversation skills, cute baby face with unacceptable hair, and almost guaranteed to come with baby' momma drama.) He said he'd "get in touch sometime."
The screen on my phone crapped out over the weekend, so I couldn't tell who was calling or read any of my texts. Talk about a crap shoot... (Eat shit, LG.)
As a result of the dead screen and my thinking Gotta Go Girl was calling me back, I answered G2's call on the first fucking ring when he called me later the same night. 1:30 and nothing in particular to say, hrm, G2?? This wouldn't happen to be a booty call, would it? Sorry... it'll take more than a Dirty Goose Martini to get into my pants tonight...
And, when I got my new phone today, working screen and all, I was blessed with this beautiful literary endeavor from, I have to assume, G1.
Thanx for the great chat on Thurs. Lets do it again sometime
Oh, swoon. You found the key to my heart, G1! Poor spelling and grammar get me every time. Oh, and I really get all riled up when a guy can't be bothered to actually call me. Makes me a little wild. How ever did you know?
Thanks for the drinks, fellas. And buh-bye.
Love,
Belle
* G1 made the following statements during our "great chat":
1. I graduated high school in 1996.
(Ed's note: No fucking way. College, maybe, but I doubt even that.)
2. I have four Purple Hearts.
3. I'm going out on Billy Joel's yacht tomorrow. He's my godfather.
6 comments:
Dude, send me his number. Billy Joel is my most favoritest thing ever. Yes, I said thing, as in entity.
You definitely made the right call.
Oh how I love it when my blog girlies take quality standards over the threat of single-dom.
Very nice, sweetie! (golf claps!)
i find lies that people tell me which i would have to be complete idiot to believe to be incredibly insulting. if you're going to lie, GO WITH BELIEVABLE! when will people learn this?
I'm quite the fan of the poor spelling and grammar texts as opposed to an ACTUAL PHONE CALL. It's the equivalent of saying, "I can't be bothered with actually carrying on a conversation with you, but I'll throw you this line in case I ever want to hook up with you one random night."
who actually says that Billy Joel is their godfather? Who ACTUALLY SAYS THIS?
wow. do you get a sense of self worth from playing with people like that?
if you really didn't like em that much why give your number out and get the poor guys' hopes up?
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