Star Wars Boy, Meet Belle’s Blog
Rather than bust him out the next day about it, I decided to bide my time and see if I could work something out to get tickets to an event he mentioned in the ad, invite him, and call him out in person. (Lots of work, I know, but I thought it might be fun to see if I could make him squirm a little.) He squashed my hopes and dreams a couple days later by telling me about the ad himself. Damn him.
Anyhow, this conversation somehow led to me telling him about NRA Guy (not a very favorably synopsis, as I’m wont to tell the more interesting/consuming things, which tend to be more negative), which led to him asking for my “unfiltered” opinion of him. I hemmed, hawed, and tried to postpone, but he’s a persistent little buggar. So, ultimately, I sent him the link to the ol’ blog.
I must say, I didn’t expect the polite, adult conversation that followed. (Thanks, SWB!) Now, the part that leads to me (once again) kicking myself. I closed the window to our IM conversation without saving it, so I’m having to write this post from my hazy memory.
**SWB, forgive me any inaccuracies, and please comment in response if you feel so inclined. I’ll edit if necessary.**
SWB’s initial response after reading was that my assessment seemed pretty fair and accurate overall.
His next remark was to say the only thing he slapped his forehead over was the mussels incident. (“Where was my gum??”) And my remarks on the kissing. But, to be fair, the kissing, as he pointed out, started out well but worsened as he became overly eager. This is true. In my first SWB post, I labeled him a good kisser. I had to strikethrough when I got called out for contradicting myself in a later post.
His major beefs with the posts seemed to be twofold. I could argue with neither.
1. Most of the issues I had with him were fixable, if only I’d said something. Obviously, I didn’t.
2. I left out the oh-so-important fact that before we met, we discussed our specific dating/relationship styles and came to the conclusion that, in the past, I had often been the girl who ran away from guys who showed too much interest, and he had often been the guy showing too much interest from whom the girl ran. Because of this, we decided he’d play it cool, and I’d let him know if I was feeling the need to break and run. (Or something along those lines.) So, essentially, I asked for all that then decided I didn’t want it, but (again) neglected to tell him.
So, I must offer my sincere apologies for not being better at communicating.
Other random tidbits from the conversation included, but were not limited to, the following.
- SWB said perhaps he should get new bedding. I think my agreement on this point went without saying.
- He also said he enjoys the things I found a bit too adolescent (and, basically, that he hates the adult world, although I think he functions quite nicely within it, speaking overall). I think this is completely fair. One, because I enjoy many juvenile/immature things. And, two, because I wouldn’t want someone to completely change in the hopes of winning my favor. I also told him that it really wouldn’t have to be a permanent change… just a little at the beginning.
- He defended his decision to treat me somewhat “like one of the guys” (but he offered the disclaimer that he really hadn’t… he’d cleaned up some rough edges on my behalf… which makes me wonder…), saying that he’d gotten just as much grief in the past for not doing as much. Again, fair enough. I know I’m not the voice of every girl here. Just me.
- He said my friend and commenter with the geek-boyfriend experience was one smart lady.
- He pointed out that most of my friends/commenters basically took his side.
- He reminded me, correctly, that he only asked me to play Guitar Hero and dropped it when I resisted. I told him I’d still like to play sometime. Now that I don’t feel the need to impress him or keep from embarrassing myself, I’m sure it will be fun. J
- He suggested that some of the stuff with which I took issue might have been better (I can’t remember exactly what we were discussing here) if he hadn’t been so intent on, um, er… boinking me. (My choice of term, not his.) Suffice it to say the friends were influential in making this goal a high priority. (And, of course, you know, that he has a penis probably had a little to do with this particular goal.) I can’t really blame the guy’s friends for looking out for him. I know mine would’ve done the same (and you have! … Except my one little professional cock-blockin’ friend. ;-) Where are you when I need you??).
- He reiterated that the spark/connection (whatever you want to call it… he had another specific word that I’m loath to use) just wasn’t there. I agreed.
- He debated sending his friends the link (which worried me to no end, to be honest. If I’m to be his friend, there’s a possibility I’ll meet these people… and I don’t know if this would be the best forerunner to an introduction), but decided against it. As he said, “The only reason I didn't share it is because I figured they'd go ‘yep, sounds... basically accurate.’”
- After having heard a little about NRA Guy (who he pretty accurately described as “Bizzaro-SWB”… his exact, polar opposite), he wondered what in the heck made me choose NRA over him. I wondered that myself, considering SWB and I think much more alike about many more things.
I think part of it was the way NRA expressed his interest and treated me from the beginning. Another part of it is that, despite having vastly different political ideologies and upbringings (and pretty much everything else), I was comfortable with NRA almost immediately. I was never uncomfortable with SWB, per se, but there wasn’t an overall easiness about our interactions. I don’t want to say anything was forced because I don’t know if that’s it, exactly. But I often felt like I was letting him down or being unimpressive or… something I just can’t quantify right here right now.
The day after all this conversing, SWB sent me this link. Hey, shows how much I know, huh?
3 comments:
As seems de rigeur here, I have no glaring complaints about Belle's treatment of me in this (or any other) space. But for the sake of discussion, two minor, heretofore unacknowledged points:
1- This whole narrative with me as a recurring character violates the directive issued upon our first meeting, upon my discovery that she's a blogger, to "please not write about me." Not that I'm pissed - a) as stated, I don't have any complaints about accuracy or bias in my treatment here and b) I didn't actually even remember this on my own, she did. Still, thought it was worth noting. More notable still, though, is
2- I take minor issue with my moniker. I understand that everybody needs a handle and I'm fine with it - I like Star Wars, I saw the new trilogy out to its conclusion, I'm generally a dork, it fits me. Somewhat. But if you inspected my whole house (including my fairly enormous dvd collection) the blanket is the ONLY piece of Star Wars stuff you'd find. I seriously don't even have the movies. And so her glossing over the section where she asks me the story behind the blanket with "suffice it to say there’s really no story behind it" is, I think, just a touch unfair. Hear me out. The blanket is not some spectacular collector's item from the original series. That would make me an actual Star Wars dork. It is an Episode 1 (the crappy one with Jar-Jar) blanket that I got when I left for college at a deep, deep discount (like 80% off) because I thought (and, actually, pretty much continue to think) that it's funny. Apparently bedding is no place for kitsch or something. It's colorful, it doesn't match anything else (like all the rest of my bedding), and despite her protests, I find it to be highly comfortable. That said, I guess the increased likelihood of sex is probably worth the investment in a big-boy blanket. Surely there are girls reading this - send me a link in the comments to a bedding set that you'd have sex in, help me out here. I mean, c'mon, I'm not reprehensible, just juvenile.
PS it's a full. Which is lame but my bedroom's small.
SWB! Don't downplay your DVD collection. It isn't "fairly enormous" it's monstrously so. And it's chock-full-o' awesome stuff. :)
Ohhh wait wait...a "Star Wars" blanket is a fairly acceptable throwback. But Jar Jar Binks is not...sorry but I rescind any past defense I've made in favor of this item. That needs to go.
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