The Stylelife Challenge: Days 1-6

Note: I've been bad about this Challenge business. Clearly. I could give you myriad excuses about my hectic schedule and moving and temporarily misplacing the book and whatnot, but I won't. :) Instead, I'll just jump right back into this thing...

- Set goals.
- Define how you're perceived and how you want to be perceived.
- Get out and talk to people.
- Start working to improve your physical appearance, voice, posture, etc.
- Boost confidence and build self-esteem.
- Stop being your own biggest obstacle.

I'm nearly one week into The Stylelife Challenge, and so far I can't disagree with anything Neil Strauss is selling.

In fact, I'm looking back at the long line of mopes I've dated and thinking that not a small number of the group would benefit from his directed challenges. Were they enrolled in the Strauss school, the poorly dressed would've shrugged off their stretched, faded, and holy T-shirts for better fitted apparel. The couch potatoes would've gotten their asses moving to the gym or the track or the courts on a regular basis. The dull and monotone would've learned the art of captivating storytelling. The ones who needed to practice personal hygiene would've (gasp!) practiced personal hygiene.

And If they'd all done all that? Well, it probably wouldn't have made my dating life a shining example of how to navigate the world of love, but at least I would've been navigating accompanied more often with menfolk who put some effort into the business.

Strauss claims he wants these guys to pay attention to appearance, particularly the little things (fingernails, eyebrows, etc.), because women do. And, by and large, he's right. Women somersault through hoops of fucking fire to look good. So why the hell don't we deserve a dating pool that does the same?

Strauss advocates adopting a sense of personal pride. Improving yourself on myriad levels to up your viability in the game. And I find absolutely nothing to argue with here.

That's the me now, though.

For years I did nothing to rid myself of the extra pounds. I wore what was comfortable, whether it was faded or holy or not. Simply put, I neglected myself. And, yet, I lamented the lack of interest from the males around me. Wondered why the ones who did come calling didn't treat me like a fairy tale princess. I told myself I wanted a man who could see past the superficial to the true beauty within me.

Yet when guys who were overweight or slovenly hit on me? Yeah... I tended to shoot them down. Didn't really bother to look for any prince inside those toads.

I wanted something from my potential mates that I wasn't willing to give in return. I demanded that they respect and care for themselves in a way I wasn't willing to respect and care for myself. And my potential mates looked at me and saw that, because I didn't respect and care for myself, they wouldn't have to either. I don't know why it took me so long to see it, but I finally have.

And now? I am not model thin. My fingernails are sometimes snagged, and my toenail polish doesn't always carry a brilliant sheen. I am human. I am flawed. But I'm constantly working to improve myself, in both the physical and mental realms, and I am going to demand the same from any future partners.

I don't know what the remaining 24 days will bring, but right now I think every guy out there should be living the lessons from Days 1-6, as much for themselves as for The Game.