Auditory Hallucinations

NPR aired a segment yesterday morning about people who have auditory hallucinations. A woman who is pretty much deaf one day heard a terrible racket, and then started hearing music. It was all in her head. And a guy who was bored on a sailing trip started hearing heavy metal. All, of course, in his head.

So, what, every time I get a song stuck in my head, I'm having auditory hallucinations? Not quite. While the songs that run through my brain daily on a constant loop can be annoying, to say the least, they don't disrupt my life.*

This one greeted me when I awoke this morning:



Recognize it?

It's from the MacBook Air commercial. Genius marketing by Apple to keep their products at the forefront of the general public's mind? It's working on me...

Maybe it is an auditory hallucination, after all. It might just end up disrupting my life... to the tune of a couple grand. I can think of nothing but MacBook Air. Not, of course, based on research or any particularly compelling desire to own the thing so much as because of this song running nonstop through my head.



* I fully recognize that the songs do, in fact, disrupt the lives of those around me when I start belting them out in my cracked, tuneless singing voice.

Thoughts on the State of the Union

Nancy Pelosi needs to get some new mascara. And take care of her blinking problem.






(What? I didn't say they were profound thoughts.)

I said I wouldn't say it...

... But d'ya know how I realized I'm getting old?

How was your birthday?

...

Well, I didn't take off any clothes, dance on any elevated surfaces, or make out with any strangers, so, all-in-all, it was pretty good.

Yep.

So Much for Professionalism

I haven't been spending time in the blogosphere lately because I've been working on advancing my career.*

I've been devoting almost all of my working hours (and then some) to a difficult project with asinine clients. The guy doing most of the work for the project (thereby working closely with me) pretty much keeps to himself. Mr. Chill speaks only when necessary. Gives looks that make people think their mere visage offends him. Wears his headphones so as to block out ambient noise and

Recently, several people in our department were rearranged, and I found myself in the cube directly across from Mr. Chill. Late last week, I felt like we had a much-needed communication breakthrough. He started actually speaking to me. Both about the project and about things unrelated to work. I was particularly pleased with the turnaround and looking forward to the benefits of our newfound working relationship.

Today, my work buddy Buddhist Catholic tapped the glass behind me and blew me a kiss. I turned in my chair just enough to blow a kiss back at her, which left me facing the aisle and Mr. Chill. Usually engrossed in his work and/or social networking, Mr. Chill took this opportunity to turn toward me as I was mid- kiss... lips puckered, hand in air... and facing Mr. Chill directly.

I tried to assure him that I wasn't blowing him kisses, but I felt the flush rising in my cheeks and saw my shame mirrored in his suddenly rosy face. Certain any further explanation on my part would only make things worse, I turned back to my work.

So, yeah... Pretty sure the newfound lines of communication with Mr. Chill are shut down as of now.

And Buddhist Catholic? After laughing hysterically at my retelling of the story, she's banned from blowing kisses my way.


* No, that's not an excuse, just the facts, people. I'm not silly enough to think anyone's out there wondering where I've been. It just happened to be a good lead-in for a little self-deprecation. And we all know how much I love some self-deprecation. Yep, all two of you. I see you, Ogden, Utah, and Higden, Arizona.